A Surge of Power.

I lived in Bristol for about 3 years, and must confess my own ignorance, as I had basically no idea who Edward Colston was. As far as I was concerned, it was just the name of a hall where I once ate a kebab and saw a sub-par ‘comedy’ show. I didn’t even know he had a statue. And I must admit, in this ignorance, when I first saw the (at that point anonymous to me) statue come crashing down, I had mixed feelings about it. But then after about 2 minutes of googling, it was pretty much impossible to say anything other than “yeah fair enough actually”. Colston’s voyage into the river did leave a vacant plinth though, which immediately started the conversation as to what should take his place. And this is the answer. Well, at least it was the answer for about 24 hours. Artist Mark Quinn had been secretly working with BLM activist Jen Reid, who was famously photographed atop the plinth giving the black power salute, and together they made and installed a steel statue in her likeness. ‘A Surge of Power’ has now been removed by the council, but this came as no surprise to Quinn who had only ever intended for it to be a temporary installation. But if his true goal was to make a load of noise and re-spark an important dialogue, then mission accomplished.

Banksy’s Back.

Banksy’s been pretty active this year. Starting with his Valentine’s Day mural in Bristol, then his NHS artwork, a BLM piece, and finally some rats in his bathroom. Well it looks like those rats have escaped as they’re now running amok in the London Underground, and they’re here to tell everyone to just wear a bloody mask already. But in typical TfL fashion, they’ve already f*cked it up. They gave a firm ‘computer says no’ and the artwork was scrubbed off almost immediately due to the TfL’s “strict anti-graffiti policy”. Yeah, that’s it TfL, you really showed that bloody rapscallion and his pesky paint pots. Seriously though, how has Banksy still not been identified? I swear I mention badminton in a conversation once and immediately get tailored adverts for shuttlecocks thanks to some mysterious ‘algorithm’, and yet we can’t track down this bloke who is literally walking around being so overtly Banksy-like. Hiding in plain sight, I suppose. It’s impossible not to rate it though. Hopefully it will forever just remain one of life’s unanswerable mysteries alongside what happened at Area 51, who are the Illuminati, and whether it’s possible to stand backwards on a staircase.

Fanbots.

Sport has been back for a little while now. And thanks to that familiar weekly dose of despair that comes with supporting Everton, to me it now feels like it never left. But a persistent problem across the board for all sports has been recreating the atmosphere that’s been stripped away by the lack of fans. Well, not quite across the board – cricket hasn’t exactly struggled to recreate the noise of about 30 old blokes eating pork pies. But for sports that people actually care about, like football, it’s been difficult to find a solution. FC Seoul learned that sex dolls, being notoriously quiet, don’t quite fill the void. And the fake cheering currently used for EPL games on TV is basically just a headache-inducing barrage of poorly-timed ‘ooh!’s’ and ‘ahh!’s’. Thankfully though, this Japanese baseball team think they’ve found the answer: singing robots and twerking robotic dogs wearing baseball caps. Of course! It was right in front of us this whole time! I thoroughly enjoyed the performance, and don’t want to be a negative ned, but I can’t help but think this would probably be a tiny bit distracting for the players? Those robot dogs sure do know how to shake that cake tho.

Tomb Raider: The Revenge of Ramesses.

I think a lot of people my age probably kind of wanted to be Lara Croft when they were a kid. Or maybe that was only me and I’ve just unearthed a humiliating secret about myself. My dad has previously told me that I was forced to listen to an excessive amount of Cher at a young age – so maybe there’s something in that. But anyway, thanks to the magic of the internet you can now have the experience of being a real life tomb raider. Except you’re not stabbing bad guys or trying to pinch some ancient treasure; you’re walking down a long corridor. But it’s a very nice corridor with lots of interesting stuff in it, most notably an old dead bloke at the end. This is part of the Egyptian government’s ‘experience egypt from home. stay home. stay safe’ campaign, for which they have launched a number of virtual tours of some of the country’s most famed archaeological sites – including this one of the tomb of Pharaoh Ramesses VI. Mmmm; very interesting, very educational stuff. Plus if you get to the end and turn around and click really fast you can pretend you’re Indiana Jones getting chased by a boulder.

Tyson Vs Jaws.

We’ve had the Rumble in the Jungle. We’ve had the Thrilla in Manilla. And now we’ve got this – the Commotion in the Ocean. That’s right, the baddest man on the planet is scrapping a big old shark. Let’s just hope it doesn’t turn into RIP in the Sea. 54-year-old Iron Mike had been toying with the idea of a comeback for a while now, and it hardly seemed like a great idea even when it was assumed he would be facing a human, let alone a cold-blooded aquatic killing machine. Tyson claims that he wants to fight a shark to help him get over his fears of making a comeback to the squared circle. I mean, sure, I suppose – but there must be easier ways, no? Ever tried a sports psychologist? This is like trying to get over a fear of heights by going to the moon. Fortunately though, there is an explanation: the Discovery Channel will be putting on the Tyson Vs Jaws: Rumble on the Reef event as part of Shark Week at the start of August. Hold on, that’s the explanation?! That doesn’t help at all! I know what all of those words mean individually, but put together in that order and I am genuinely clueless. I think maybe they’ve all been enjoying a bit too much of the Tyson Ranch OG Kush.

Realsh*t: Lessons from Lockdown.

Sure, lockdown hasn’t been fun. But has it also represented an opportunity for tremendous personal growth? It’s been a time for new interests, new habits, new ways of thinking. So what are the lessons that we can all learn from lockdown?

We asked our SELFHOOD network what they’ve missed most over the last few months, but also what they plan to take from lockdown into their lives moving forward.

Real People, Real Time… Realsh*t.