Disney is Rubbish.

Disney films are happy, right? Wrong. Not anymore, sunshine. At least not in these reimagined parody posters of famous Disney films that highlight the environmental damage that short-term plastic toy promotions inflict on the planet. To sum them all up succinctly: plastic = bad, boooo. But I enjoyed the posters so much that I came up with a few climate change x Disney spin-offs myself. Here’s what I’ve got so far: Mulandfill, Climates of the Caribbean, Angels in the Ozone, Pinocchi-uh-oh, Jungle Book: The Last Chapter, Dumpbo, The Fox and the Drought, Willy Wonka and the Melting Chocolate Factory, Despicable Us, The Little Mermaid Choking on a Plastic Bag, Mulandfill, and Honey, I Shrunk the Ice Caps. I know I said Mulandfill twice, but I was trying to recycle it.

Barney: The Comback.

You wouldn’t think the themes of kids’ entertainment and extinction were linked, but the evidence this week suggests that they are inextricably bound together. From apocalyptic Disney films we go to a poignant reminder of the second extinction of the dinosaurs, back in 2010 when Barney was officially cancelled. Cancelled in the traditional sense that is – don’t worry, Barney hasn’t been misgendering anyone. But now it looks like the dinosaurs shall rise again, as Daniel Kaluuya is planning on bringing back the big friendly T-Rex in a gritty reimagining of the 90s classic. Kaluuya gave a statement this week explaining his plans for the film in a bit more detail, saying that he was “excited to see if Barney’s message of ‘I love you, you love me’ can stand the test of time.’” Or as it shall be sung by out of work actors in Hollywood this year, ‘I love you, you love me, unless you’re voting Trump 2020, with no more hugs or a kiss from me to you, won’t you just wear your mask too?’. Come on, Barney – sort us out.

Reload the Ting.

There are a few things that the Swedes do better than most. Meatballs, furniture, and… hmm, I’m out. ABBA? But anyway, now you can add sustainable fashion to that list. Forget about your nan, because there’s a new knitting sheriff in town. The H&M ‘looop’ is a fashion-recycling system which takes bits of unwanted old clothes and pieces them together into some fresh new garments. Basically, you chuck your old knitwear items in, and it dissembles them into yarn before reassembling them as something else, such as the lovely woollen jumper shown in the video. And since it uses no water or chemicals, it has a significantly lower environmental impact than making the item from scratch would have. As somebody who is forced to bin socks regularly thanks to my unusually aggressive gait and overly-emphatic yanking applicatory technique, this is right up my street.

Snappy Dressers.

Being a proud Crocs owner myself – or Crocophile, as we’re known in some circles – it makes me sick to my stomach when I see my beloved clogs constantly being given such a hard time. What did Crocs ever do to you? They’re functional, fashionable, and, dare I say, pretty darn fetching. Yet for some reason they seem to be almost universally despised. Well, enough is enough – and you’ll be begging for these new Nicole Mclaughlin collab editions when you’re left dangling off the side of El Capitan without a plan or a prayer, as they come with a built-in survival kit. They’re fully equipped with a number of essential attachments, including a headlamp, paracord, stuff sack, carabiner, and compass. Not that you’ll need that last one though, since if you’re wearing these bad boys you’ll only need directions towards the ladieeess.

AI-rtists.

For the coolsh*t loyalists, cast your mind back to a couple weeks ago when we told you about the phenomenally helpful governmental re-training questionnaire. If you don’t remember, allow me to remind you – Rishi Sunak told people who work in the arts to put down the paintbrush and choose a new career, and even helped them out with a personality quiz that would tell them exactly what to re-train as. Just for a reference regarding its efficacy – my dad, who is in his 50s and has a dodgy knee, was told to pursue a new career as a boxer. But I hope all the artists out there took it seriously, as thanks to these micro-robots, we definitely won’t be needing you anymore. Maria Santos of Princeton University has presented her research on swarm robotics this week, creating an interactive painting courtesy of a team of robots equipped with different coloured paints who create the image via motion trails. Which is incredibly impressive. Fortunately for the artists out there though, it’s also quite shit. The sun? Seriously? Looks like something off Barney, mate. So artists live to fight another day then. But they oughtn’t be resting on their easels though, as this sets a pretty spectacular precedent for the future of robotically-generated art.

Thrifty Towel x Selfridges.

We like to support our friends here at ZAK. If you scratch our back, we’ll try to scratch yours. That’s why we’re wrapping up this week’s coolsh*t with a shout out to Josh, member of our SELFHOOD network and owner of online vintage clothing store, Thrifty Towel. This week, Josh has only gone and bagged himself a pop-up store at Selfridges, as part of the #resellfridges campaign. Which sounds like a call to arms to put your fridge on eBay, but I assure you it isn’t. The pop-up opens on Monday, so if you’re in the area, slap your mask on, keep your distance and go pick yourself up some globally-sourced vintage garms.