Earth 1-0 Mars.

It’s been pointed out to me that coolsh*t possibly tends to slightly over-feature Elon Musk and all his various ventures and activities. But, in my defence, he’s essentially a child with $172bn whose current business interests include revolutionising the motor industry, interplanetary exploration, and installing microchips in our brains that will more or less turn us all into Magneto. All of which I think it can be conceded are at least somewhat noteworthy. But to bring some balance back to the universe, this week he’s getting a bit of a kicking in the form of a bloody great billboard outside his gaff reminding him that ‘Mars Sucks’. Creative company Activista were behind the billboard – not literally – and they make some decent points, to be fair. It’s got grim weather, a bad atmosphere, it’s too far away, it’s dangerous, and there’s nothing to do there. It’s like the Bolton of the solar system. So perhaps this is just a gentle reminder that the grass isn’t always greener. They don’t even have grass…

The Royal Wii.

I was today years’ old when I learned that the queen owned a 24k solid gold Nintendo Wii, and I’m not sure what to do with this new information. Apparently she was a particularly big fan of the Wii Sports Fox Hunting. Clearly not enough of a fan, though, as she’s decided to flog it. Or, rather, she already did flog it – that part’s slightly unclear. But what isn’t unclear is the fact that it’s wound up on eBay over the last week and is expected to fetch a crisp $300,000. Which I was going to say probably isn’t very much to the queen, but then I remembered that JK Rowling apparently has more money than her. That must sting, considering money’s literally got her face on it. It’s actually been listed on eBay not by Liz herself, but by a collector (that’s an awfully niche collection), who says he’s getting rid in the interest of “moving on with life”. Ah, I remember my ‘collecting royal gilded gaming consoles’ phase. We all go through it.

Floaters.

Between the current plague, the looming environmental crisis, the perpetual potential for geopolitical chaos, and some bastards trying to nick football, the world can seem like a scary place at times. But forget about all that, because soon enough we’ll all be soaring down the streets on hoverboards. LA-based digital creator Hunter Kowald went a bit viral this week when he unveiled his fully functional hoverboard, which he spent months crafting himself. Blimey, he could have just done some TikTok dances or something. But instead, Hunter gathered a load of TikTokers and got them to film his big debut flight, which is just genius marketing. Apparently some nerds on the internet have pointed out that it isn’t technically a hoverboard and is actually more of a mountable drone – but they say tomato, I say hoverboard. It’s a flying surfboard that can carry up to 500lbs – which, to put it into context, is the equivalent of roughly 3 Noel Edmonds’ – and it can travel in any direction you like. Sounds pretty bloody hoverboardy to me.

Landfill Landscapes.

You’re probably familiar with the idea that even if you put lipstick on a pig, it’s still a pig. However, it seems that that ancient Chinese proverb has been somewhat undermined, as it turns out you can put a bit of paint on a discarded packet of Monster Munch and transform it into a work of art. Mariah Reading is an ecological artist from Maine who rocks up to stunning natural locations and paints them onto discarded pieces of rubbish she finds when she gets there – from beer cans, to bottles, to keyboards, to a surprising number of shoes. So I think the message here is clear: we should all litter far more often so somebody might be able make some art out of it. No? Oh, apparently it’s actually to promote picking up litter and to question whether we and our rubbish are separate from the environment or integrated with it. Oh great, now you tell me. Now I regret setting a load of binbags on fire in that quarry last night.

Invisible Instruments.

There are some schools of thought that would claim musicians are getting less talented. In the past, you would need an entire orchestra to perform to a crowd. Now, DJs just need to whack on their smartest Moschino shirt and remember their USB sticks. I’d like to see Beethoven try to sell out Fabric though. Yet alas, it’s just become even easier to make music, as Zurich-based start-up Mictic have created a wearable XR musical instrument that you can play by basically just flailing your arms around like a maniac. There’s more finesse to it than that though, as Mictic’s sensors on the wearable wristbands allow for a great deal of accuracy, as demonstrated by this nice bloke from an actual orchestra playing an imaginary cello. And I found all of this incredibly impressive – but then I got to the 30 second mark of the video and saw that it also allows you to make the noises of a Kung Fu fighter. Well that certainly took a turn; perhaps this isn’t the future of music quite just yet then. But I suppose it still beats having to lug a cello around.

realsh*t: Career Pivots.

The pandemic has been an incredibly challenging time for young people pursuing their careers. But has it actually been a blessing in disguise for some? A chance to reset? And what about those who have been able to turn a side hustle into a main hustle into a legit career?

We spoke to SELFHOOD to hear how they’ve been able to make the best of some bad circumstances to develop their careers – as well as themselves – in new directions over the last year.

Real People, Real Time… Realsh*t.