And the Winner is...

Lines have now closed. If you vote, you may still be charged but your vote will not be counted. The 2022 Collin’s Dictionary Word of the Year is… Permacrisis. Yeah, me neither. I’m not even sure that’s technically a real world – presumably it’s a portmanteau of ‘permanent’ and ‘crisis’, though. ‘Portmanteau’ would have been a more worthy winner, for my money. However, with the planet seemingly on the perennial precipice of disaster, the sentiment behind the winning word can at least be understood. In second place was ‘Kyiv’ – which as a proper noun shouldn’t be anywhere near a dictionary or a scrabble board – but it does seem a bit harsh to not give it the top spot. They probably should have pulled a Eurovision. And both of those beat out stiff competition including ‘Vibe Shift’, ‘Quiet Quitting’, and ‘Party-gate’ – all of which are technically 2 words. Seriously, who made this list?

The Fast & the Curious.

I was rather disappointed to find that I’d been hoodwinked by a tweet that went viral this week purporting to reveal a 3D rendering of how Adam, the first human being created by God, might have looked – which, incidentally, bears a striking resemblance to one Mr. Vincent Diesel. Now I’ve taken a step back, I can see why a tweet saying that some ‘scientists’ at an untagged university claiming that a bloke who didn’t really exist (created by a God who also likely doesn’t exist) just so happens to look exactly like that bloke in Fast & Furious ought to be treated with a modicum of scepticism – but it was late and I’d been searching for coolsh*t for literally dozens of minutes. Upon uncovering the goof, I was going to replace the story, but the level of virality achieved by the tweet makes it worth its space even if it was a joke – in fact, even more so. The cinema that posted the troll would normally get around 30-40 likes on a tweet, and on this one they currently have nearly 350k. That’s an awful lot of cost-free exposure. But I do feel quite foolish for not twigging the joke after seeing this rendering of ‘Moses’, which is very clearly just Hulk Hogan.

Fish Face.

As somewhat of a health and wellbeing crackpot who is susceptible to being advertised any vitamin or mineral with some vague promise of potential health-giving properties, there are few things that I won’t at least trial ingesting – and probably then continue to spend £10-a-month on, because sea moss is absolutely essential. However, salmon spaff may well be where I draw the line. According to consumer data analyst Spate, salmon sperm DNA is gaining traction in the South Korean skincare market – which is significant because K-beauty trends tend to trickle down (poor choice of words) to the US and then to the rest of the world. But, apparently, this particular ‘product’ does actually offer some worthwhile benefits: said to increase cell turnover, maintain skin elasticity and aid in wound healing. Either that or it’s all just a rumour started by one particularly crafty salmon.

Nike-ish.

DALL-E’s been awfully quiet of late, hasn’t he? Or, perhaps more likely, the novelty has slightly worn off. It really highlights the current speed of technological progress that a previously unfathomable program would within a month or so have become yesterday’s news. But DALL-E was at least the first program of its kind to break through into the collective public consciousness and popularise the potential utility of AI design, setting a precedent for similar programs to expand upon – like when Roger Bannister broke the 4-minute mile in 1959 and then dozens of people suddenly also did so almost immediately afterwards. Now, AI has gone a step further than the incoherent scribblings of DALL-E, as a program has just been used to generate this collection of Nike outfits. And I would contend that without first knowing they were AI-generated, one wouldn’t necessarily think twice if told these were the real deal. It ought to be said, though, that they do have just the faintest whiff of that ‘Ye’ bloke about them. Suppose he is looking a new brand to work with…

Bird Sh*t.

I thought the Collin’s Word of the Year was a robbery, but this is an absolute disgrace. The kākāpō is a nocturnal, flightless bird with a distinctive waddling gait that has become best-known, rather harshly, as “the world’s fattest parrot”. If you don’t feel sorry for it already, the kākāpō is also critically endangered and has only recently been rescued from the very brink of extinction when there were just 50 of its kind remaining. I haven’t even got to the injustice yet, by the way. It was announced this week that the kākāpō will be struck from the ballot in New Zealand’s upcoming bird of the year competition due to fears that the 2-time former champion would take the limelight away from less charismatic but equally endangered birds. This industry will chew you up and spit you out.

*This isn’t strictly relevant to the story, but Googling the kākāpō will bring up a BBC video entitled ‘Shagged by a rare parrot’, so I thought that was worth sharing. Could be another K-beauty trend.

Taking Off.

It’s been rightly pointed out that some of last week’s coolsh*t stories may have veered more towards the shit end of the spectrum rather than the cool. Apparently not everyone gets as excited as I do about new bins that may or may not have been around in Europe for a decade. Mea culpa. Well, how’s this for innovation: a flying car. Need I say more? Well, contractually, yes, I do. We’ve seen attempts at evTOLs in the past, but the ‘Switchblade’ is the first of its kind, able to transform from plane to road-legal vehicle in just 3 minutes. Granted, it’s not quite The Jetsons, but it’s a solid first crack. Plus there are so few road traffic accidents at the moment that flying cars can only be a good idea. Heads up…

The Coolsh*t Podcast - Ep. 28.

A debate for the ages: salmon skincare or a flying Ford Fiesta?