General Dejection.
When ineptitude meets opacity. When shallow excuses meet hollow promises. When a movable object meets a stoppable force. When a charisma-free, uninspiring, nerdy technocrat meets… another one… wearing a slightly different coloured tie. Welcome to the 2024 UK General Election. Lights, camera, inaction.
Watching the debate the other night felt like being strapped to a chair Ludovico technique-style and having to decide whether you’d rather take an electric cattle prod to the testicles or a vat of battery acid to the face. The national consensus seems to be that we’ve had the acid for 14 years now, so we may as well give the cattle prod a go. How bad can it be?
But maybe you can’t think of a single good reason to vote for anyone. Well, according to a new “non-partisan” campaign (we added the sarcastic air quotes ourselves) developed by Saatchi & Saatchi to get young people to the polls, 40% of 18-24 year-olds think people who vote regularly are more attractive. That seems like as good a reason as any to compromise your moral integrity and support something you don’t really believe in. Plus did you see all the super cool Emojis on the campaign? Because young people love Emojis… right? Exactly. So remember to get out there and exercise your democratic right to vote. Or don’t. It just encourages the bastards.
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