Sole Mates.
Having recently been sidelined from running due to developing a “dead left arse cheek” (tragically not a joke, but a real diagnosis from a part-time osteopath and full-time charlatan), I’ve become rather more sympathetic to the idea that it’s probably worth investing in a decent pair of shoes to exercise in.
…But this is just taking the piss.
Nike and Hyperice have collaborated to create a pair of boots that massage their wearer’s feet using heat and air compression. At the touch of a button, athletes can choose from three levels of intensity ranging from ‘moderate’ to ‘bloke called Ivan with big Russian hands that’ll kneed you like the stubborn piece of dough that you are’.
We might even see these on display at the Olympics this summer if France hasn’t set itself on fire by then, which based on the last couple weeks seems to happen whenever they’re really happy or really angry. Now if only someone could figure out a way to resurrect half a bottom.
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