Bags Under Your Eyes.

The cruel irony of insomnia is that it quickly becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy (or a vicious cycle, depending on which hackneyed metaphor you prefer). You can’t sleep, so you worry about not being able to sleep, and worrying about not sleeping means you can’t sleep – rinse and repeat ad infinitum. It’s a nightmare. Or rather, it isn’t.

Singapore is one of the most sleep-deprived countries in the world, with 54% of residents reporting they get six hours or less per night. Fortunately, IKEA have a solution.

This week IKEA Singapore unveiled the Resten, a reimagining that transforms the iconic blue Frakta bag into an on-the-go pillow. So the good news is that Singaporeans are now getting more sleep. That bad news is that public transport robbery rates have skyrocketed. Crime never sleeps.

Oui, Chef.

Oh look, that chef bloke is in his knickers again. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

After making a metaphorical splash with their first campaign in the spring, Calvin Klein and Jeremy Allen White have returned to make a literal splash by having Mr. White frolic by the pool in his tighty-whiteys.

I think the reason this campaign works is because of how relatable it is. Ah yes, think back to those cherished summer memories of prancing around in Beverly Hills, rehearsing lines, and roughhousing with an Alsatian before taking a dip in your denim swimwear while someone does an impression of Joan Jett with a throat infection. Then you wake up, screaming.

Water of Death.

There’s been a curious amount of novelty coffin news of late. Has this corporeal plane become so intolerable that we’re forced to fantasise about the eternal dwelling from which we might transcend to the realm of translucence? Isn’t this all a bit morbid? Hang on… this one’s got seltzers in it? You should have said…

A couple weeks ago, we were introduced to the “world’s toughest coffin”, and now we may have found the world’s funnest coffin. Granted, that’s a fairly low bar. That’s like being the world’s most gregarious librarian or least officious parking warden: a mythical contradiction like some sort of virgin Priapus, vegan t-rex, or teetotal Dionysus.

The casket was designed by Liquid Death in collaboration with YETI (those little travel cups that allow you to drink your oat flat white out of a straw over the course of 3 hours). Want it? You can’t have it. The coffin already sold at auction for £53,000. I also buy weird shit on the internet when I’ve had a few, to be fair. Lay off the waters.

The Royal Wedding.

A lot of brand collaborations are crap. What started as a good idea quickly spiralled out of control and became a victim of its own ubiquity – like plastic bags. With most people now suffering from chronic collab fatigue, the fact that Palace keep getting away with it becomes even more impressive.

Palace x Vivienne Westwood. If anything it’s just surprising this hadn’t happened already. Both independent. Both iconic. Both quintessentially London. The collection draws on both brands’ histories while borrowing some of your typical punk appurtenances. Some, not all – funnily enough Siouxsie Sioux’s armband didn’t make an appearance.

The range drops live in store today… which means it’s probably already sold out. Better luck next time. But what’s more punk than a load of middle class nepo babies queuing up to cosplay as anarchists? Johnny Rotten is turning in his grave. And he isn’t even dead, so that shows just how unhappy he is.

Larry the Conqueror.

A massive model making tiny models. Equilibrium per excessum: a Latin aphorism bastardising Aristotle’s Golden Mean, attaining eudaimonia not through compromise but through the perfect balance of rival extremes. A tight-rope walker flourishes not through the slack of agreement but through the tension of contradiction. Delphi be damned; everything in excess!

This new campaign from Floyd’s takes us through a standard day in the life of Larry, a retired bodybuilder who uses his Floyd suitcase as a vessel for his miniature model making. You couldn’t make it up….

…Actually, they did. The ad was written and directed by Jasper Cable Alexander, with no agency involved, after his own Floyd suitcase was damaged by a would-be thief. But I’m sure that isn’t why they shot it in Hastings rather than on Venice Beach.

As $trange as Possible.

Never let them know your next move. As absurdly minimalist as that Floyd’s ad is, this new A$AP Rocky music video is just as surreally maximalist. Balance. Perhaps you’d like us to start speaking Latin again? No? Philistines.

Filmed in Kyiv (before the war) in one continuous wandering shot, the video unfolds to reveal new characters each more random than the last. We go from a canine chauffeur to a corpulent nudist to a bathroom floor breakdancer to a yeti (not the cup) to an upturned urinator to a pissed-up rabbit passed out in a sink… and that was just the first 33 seconds.

I’m exhausted. Good luck making it to the end without feeling like you’ve awoken from a fever dream after eating too much cheese. How did they even go about storyboarding this? And spare a thought for the stylist who had to coax a pug into that sequin jacket.